Day 1. Active Ingredients: Snake Oil

Initial Weight:  190.

I got my new dietary products in the mail yesterday.  So, I’m starting phase one “Detox” this week.


Each little bottle is 1 oz.  Each bottle has 25% Alcohol.  Each bottle has a very long list of “active ingredients” to the point where most of them are no more than trace ingredients.  The literature that came with it talks about “opening essential pathways”.  As I read through it I get the same feeling I always get when dealing with Homeopathic treatments:  “It’s got electrolytes”*.  I tried to get a picture of the ingredients labels but the print was too small.


The rational mind in me thinks, “all of these ingredients can’t possibly be active”.  Some must be doing all the work (if any work is being done) and the rest are along for the ride.  Or there is so little active ingredient in the mixture (trace amounts) that they are nothing more than a politicians name on the cover of a book where some unknown ghost writer did all the work.

But this is for science.

If I had an unlimited amount of government funding and twenty or thirty thousand test subjects, I would design an experiment to see which of these ingredients were actually performing any “detox” function at all.  I would do lab tests on urine to see if any additional “toxins” were excreted.  But that isn’t possible.  Like all Homeopathic mumbo jumbo, there is no evidence for any of this.  I am continuing with the experiment to see where it goes on the off chance that it works for reasons that the homo community just doesn’t understand. I hope it doesn’t depend too much on faith healing or “placebo effect”.

Day one of detox included 90 drops of stuff from the first three bottles (30 drops each), diluted in one liter of water.  Sip throughout the day. Tastes like plastic.

The “diety” part of the diet doesn’t start yet, so I am eating normally during this part.  Breakfast, Rise and Shine at Bob Evans.  Two fried eggs, 3 linked sausages, Hash browns, 2 English muffins, glass of orange juice.

Also during this week I will be cutting back on the sugar I eat.  So McDonald’s Sweet Tea:  Bye-bye.

The cost for these dietary supplements including two bottles of the HCG is $320.

* From the movie “Idiocracy” where people learn to just parrot marketing lingo instead of actually thinking about things.

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About Professor Hale

Currently living in Virginia
This entry was posted in Diet and exercise. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Day 1. Active Ingredients: Snake Oil

  1. AmStrat says:

    DARN IT! I was JUST going to say “It’s got electrolytes… which plants need!” right out of the movie until I read that last line

    Touche(e has a hat), sir.

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